If you were gay
by Chiharu Yuizaki
Summary: Ron tells Harry that it's okay to him if Harry was gay and in love in a song. HPDM in the end.


Title: If you were gay

Summary: Ron tells Harry that it's okay to him if he was gay and in love.

Disclaimer: The song 'If you were gay' is by Avenue Q and Harry Potter is by Mrs. Rowling.

Note: There were a few errors that I corrected. Namely the preview of the sequel. Earlier, I made a mistake. I din't give you guys the sequel to the story, but the spin-off sequel-thing. My mistake it has been corrected. The sequel to the story, If you were gay is going to be posted soon. It's titled, If I were gay. So don't be confused by the two, okay?

* * *

Harry sat down on the love seat in the Gryffindor Common Room, Quidditch through the Ages Volume II in right hand, and a glass of pumpkin juice on the other hand. He smiled, retting ready for a relaxing day with all homework done. 

"Harry, is that you?" A Red head poked his head out of the BOy's Room and Harry smiled at his best friend of six years as the latter came down the stairs.

"Hey Ron, where's Hermione?" he asked.

Ron shrugged. "In the library, you know, studying for the Potions exam next month."

Harry laughed. "Yup, that's our Hermione."

"Uhh... Harry, we need to talk." he spoke, as if standing on egg shells.

Harry nodded. "Yeah, 'bout what?"

Ron gulped. "Well, I just noticed that ever since we had to share classes with the SLytherin's, you've been eyeing Malfoy."

Harry sighed. "Yeah, I do, but that's because were rivals. I have to watch his every move and find weakensses in his actions."

"Well, with the way you look at him, it's like you want to jump him and snog him sesneless on the Great Hall during dinner with him being your dessert!" Ron cried out.

Harry choked on his juice. "What?"

"Listen Harry, you don't have to get all defensive about it, I just want to clarify some things, okay?"

"I'm not being defensive! Who's being defensive! Not me! "

"Okay, okay."

"This conversation is over!" Harry spoke as he opened his book to read, signalling for Ron to shut up.

"Yeah but..."

"OVER!"

"Well, okay, but just so you know —" Ron spoke as he grabbed a top hat out of nowhere while suddenly wearing a penguin suit, and started tap dancing while singing.

"IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY."

Harry stared at Ron with wide eyes, his mouth forming a silent 'O' while continued his dance and song routine.

"BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)"

"Ron please, I am trying to read." Harry said as he turned to his book, only having it grabbed by Ron. "What!"

"If you were queer..." Ron sang, a spot light following him.

Harry glared. "AH! RON!"

"I'd still be here!"

"Ron, I am trying to relax!"

"Year after year."

"RON!"

"Because you're dear to me!"

"Argh!"

"And I know that you!" He sang as he pointed to Harry.

"What?" Harry glared.

"Would accept me too!"

"I would?" Harry asked sarcastically.

"IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,  
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,  
I'M GAY!"  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)  
I'M HAPPY  
JUST BEING WITH YOU!"

Harry had a feeling something bad is about to happen.

And hell, he was right.

"SO WHAT SHOULD IT  
MATTER TO ME  
WHAT YOU DO IN BED  
WITH GUYS?"

"Ron that is gross and vile!"

"No it's not!  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!"

"I'm not listening! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!" Harry cried as he covered his ears.

"And here I'd stay!" Ron continued, ignoring Harry. "But I wouldn't get in your way!"

"AHH! STOP IT!" Harry cired.

"YOU CAN COUNT ON ME  
TO ALWAYS BE  
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,  
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,  
YOU WERE JUST BORN  
THAT WAY,  
AND, AS THEY SAY,  
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,  
YOU'RE GAY!"

"But I'm not gay." Harry reasoned calmly.

Ron shrugged. "If you were gay."

"ARGH!" he cried, pulling out his hair. "I am going to tell Hermione on you!" he yelled like a petulant child, storming out of the Common Room, and into the library, followed by a bewildered Ron.

When Harry got to the Library, he went straight away to the only living occupant in it. HErmione was sitting in one of the secluded benches in the back of the room.

"HErmione!" Harry hissed.

Hermione stared at him and smiled. "Hey, Harry. Are you hear to have a study session with me?" she asked, rather excitedly.

Harry glared at her. "No! I'm here to ask you to tell Ron that I'm not gay! And also to stop partnering me with Malfiy of all people!"

Hermione looked at Harry as if he was foaming at the mouth, a crazy rabid dog. "Why are you asking me to lie, Harry?" she asked.

"WHat? You're not lying! You're going to tell the truth! I'm not gay!"

"You are Harry! You always oogle Malfoy! I caught you staring at his butt when we were in Care of Magical Creatures. And you always look at him in Potions! You're like, in lovewith him!" she spoke with vivacity.

Harry gave both Ron and Hermione an incredulous look. "Do you guys even know what you're saying? You're pairing me up with Draco 'bloody prat' Malfoy! Prince of Slytherin! The people who relish in virgin's blood!"

"But he's ther leader like you said." ROn spoke.

"Yeah." Harry glared at him. "And he probably overdoses on it!"

"Harry, you don't have to hide your feelings from us. We'll understand and accept you no matter who you sleep with." Hermione spoke softly.

Harry gave a large sigh before blowing up.

"I AM NOT GAY AND I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT IN LOVE WITH DRACO 'I AM EVIL, HEAR ME ROAR!' BLOODY BASTARD MALFOY!" he cried.

"Oh really, Potter?" a smooth voice spoke.

Harry turned around only to be greeted by a smirking Draco Malfoy, hair styled neatly, body covered in expensive silk robes.

"Bloody hell..." Harry muttered.

"Are you sure you're not in love with me?" Draco asked in a drawl.

"Malfoy you bloody prick, get lost. I do not love you or remotely like you at all!"

"Is that a challenge I hear?"

"Shut up and leave me alone!" Harry cried walking out of the Library.

Draco turned to both Hermione and Ron. "Ten Galleons says that Potter will fall head over heels in love with me by the end of the week."

"You're on." Hermione nodded as she shook hands with Draco.

And the battle is on.

_to be continued in sequel..._

* * *

**_SPECIAL PREVIEW! _**

**_The sequel to the story! _**

Summary: Sequel to If you were gay. Harry responses to Draco's moves on him with a song to rival that of Ron's. HP/DM SLASH

And here it is...

"But if I were gay I would give you my heart  
And if I were gay you'd be my work of art  
And if i were gay we would swim in romance  
But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants." Harry sang as he swatted Draco's foreign hand roaming the zipper of his pants.

Draco Malfoy caressed his wounded hand, glaring at Potter, for trying toseduce him and then leaving him hanging. I mean, why else would the bastard boy-who-forgot-to-live-and-is-now-trying-to-prove-his-sexuality would be doing this?

"It's not that i don't care" Harry spoke and whispered seductively to Draco, "I do."


End file.
